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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Hotel Del Rio

Yay! I'm soooo happy. Finally,
Hotel Del Rio has updated its website. Still needs work but progress has been made. Wahoo!

And why am I so happy about some hotel's website? Because yours truly worked her ass off on the hotel's brochure, not to mention marketing strategies.

Look, look, lookit DAT!


Of course, this was done almost 2 years ago but I love these photos. Thank you, Toy. I love Toy. Such a photography whiz but he left me for Dubai. Huhuhu.

I almost drove M. insane during the 4-day photo shoot. I forgot now where we got that Jaguar but I wanted a luxury car. So M. and his brother, Cedric, looked all over the city for one in case I hyperventilated in the hotel's lobby if I didn't get one.

Thank you, M., for bearing with your b*tch of a marketing consultant. M. is the soul of patience, really. It was his hotel's first professional photo shoot and he extended the utmost courtesy and forbearance to me and Toy. M. is the embodiment of HDR. Old world elegance and charm. Well, he should be. The man owns the hotel, for goodness' sakes. Of course, he embodies the hotel. Duh.

And!

At the risk of M. killing me, I just have to upload this photo of him. I got the peg for this one from some other GM dude with a hotel somewhere in the Bahamas. So I made M. do his own version. I think he tried to restrain himself from drowning me when I used the pool water to style his hair. I still managed to fall into the pool, though. It wouldn't be me if I didn't fall in swimming pools during a photo shoot.

Hotel Del Rio is located in Iloilo City. It is the pioneer in the city's hotel industry. When in Iloilo, of course, you only stay at HDR to experience "Ilonggo heritage at its finest." Yes, I thought of that tagline. I think I downed 2 drums of Coke Light before I hit on it.

Do you want to experience the legendary Ilonggo charm and hospitality? Go and stay at Hotel Del Rio.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Birds Of The Same Feather

I first heard of
Help A Reporter from my friend, Chuck Dennis. He had emailed me about a reporter who would post inquiries about different topics on behalf of his fellow reporters. If the topic fell right under your area of expertise, you can respond to it.

Peter Shankman's Facebook experiment has evolved into Help A Reporter.

See, people? There is more to Facebook than Boozemail and Poking. A lot of people actually use their Facebook for business and business networking.

Not everyone on Facebook is like me. I am forever wondering why no one wants to bid on my picture. Mine is Owned! by only one friend, a sad fact that is crushing to my ego. Ahoy, Nikos! And why is it that only my female friends Send Roses to me? What is wrong with the men on my Facebook?!

My friend, Colin Ong, is going through the Facebook route as well.

He opened a Facebook group, Colin Ong's Book About Mentoring, to jump start his e-book on mentoring. Currently, the group has a membership of almost 200 members. Colin's first group activity was a contest for his future book's title. I'm not sure who won but lots of people sent in their entries. I sent some and they were absolutely useless.

I Need A Mentor? Looking For A Mentor? Mentors and Mentoring? Mentors, Not Tormentors?

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

Vivek Singhania, another friend who has promised to turn me into a Bollywood star someday (do not roll your eyes, I will poke it!), recently opened two Facebook groups that promote his latest film, Karma. A thriller/drama, Karma will premiere at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival on May 16. Vivek's second Facebook group is for those who will be going to Cannes.

My friend and business partner, George Karahalios, also has several Facebook groups that support his businesses along with his favorite cause, Kathaluwa.

Created first on Facebook, Kathaluwa is a non-profit organization that provides for basic education for the children of Sri Lanka. At almost 600 members, Kathaluwa has teamed up with Orphans International for its projects. (Yes, George, I'm doing my job for Kathaluwa - see, see?)

Is it so shocking that a businessman of George's caliber has Facebook? George is all over the planet, I am not surprised he has Facebook. I'd be shocked if he didn't. I firmly believe that George should run as a senator of the republic. Obi Wan, is that you?

Then, there is Fashion Scout, a once-closed Facebook group that Daniela Arens invited me to.

It used to be an English group but it became German so, now, I am forced to practice my really pathetic German to understand what's happening there.

Fashion Scout allows you to peek and, eventually, bid on fashion items at lovely discounted prices. Now at more than 100 members, Fashion Scout eventually opened its doors to the Facebook crowd.

I have created my own closed Facebook group for my fellow Assumptionistas. It's for networking among Old Girls, yes. But it's really more to update all of us with what's happening at our dear ol' alma mater.

Is it beneficial for your business, then, to open a Facebook group?

Considering that the world and his wife are on Facebook, resounding yes. BUT! It wouldn't be me without a "but", people.

But it depends on how you market your Facebook group. As with all things in business, marketing is everything.

Marketing your Facebook group begins with your personal branding. Who you are counts a lot. After all, who you are determines who makes up your list of Facebook friends. If you are Juan Tamad and your Facebook friends include Pepeng Agimat and Joaquin Bordado, the chances of business warriors joining your Facebook group are virtually nil. Haven't you heard? Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.

No, perpetually inviting them to your group is not going to do the trick. You will be blocked and that is never a good thing.

Believe it or not, people can be choosy about the groups they join. The people who visit their profiles check the groups they belong to. They don't exactly visit the group; they just check the names of the groups. When they see that you are a member of a Facebook group created by a well-known name, the rush to click "Join Group" is faster than a speeding bullet. After all, who wouldn't want to be on the Facebook group that Toby Bloomberg, Seth Godin or Guy Kawasaki created?

I don't know if Guy Kawasaki or Seth Godin have created Facebook groups but I do know that Toby has The W List. Yes, I'm on it. Duh.

Serious business networkers who are group creators can be merciless in chopping off their members who do not bring value to the group. So merciless that they will not hesitate to announce to the world your sorry ass was booted out for being a useless imbecile.

At the same time, members have also left groups because the group has lost its appeal or its purpose to their Facebook experience.

I constantly clean up my Facebook groups. I rarely exit from a friend's group but I will not hesitate to do so from a group that no longer has relevance to my Facebook life. It's clutter and my Facebook profile is already cluttered as it is with all the Send Karma my friends have been bombarding me with. Well, of course, I accept all the karma sent my way lest I get bitten on my behind for ignoring it.

Update your Facebook group regularly. Try to engage your members on meaningful and interesting discussions that are relevant to your group. (Why am I saying this when I can't even engage my own group members to join discussions?!)

Maintaining a Facebook group is hard work. Then again, isn't hard work one of the factors for business success? As Peter Shankman has shown us, that hard work could pay off in ways you never imagined.

And, now, I am off to Facebook myself.

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Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Holy Week That Was

And the Holy Week came to pass. Aguy, aguy.

Unlike the ghosts of Holy Weeks past, this was relatively easy. Not as taxing. The workload was manageable. For once, I did not spend Maundy Thursday and part of Good Friday in a gasoline station overseeing sampling activities.

I actually spent my Holy Week in quiet observance of our Lord’s passion and death. Thank you, assistants.

I am equally happy to report that I have promoted myself. I no longer oversee sampling activities for Easter Sunday as well. I have relegated the unsavory task to lesser minions (I love you, assistants!) and it is truly a blessed relief not to see the inside of a hotel ballroom on an Easter Sunday. Have you ever been in a hotel ballroom on an Easter Sunday filled with screaming kids? It reinforces my belief that, really, we should just have one child each. Preferably gagged until adulthood.

Prior to Holy Week, there was, of course, the usual work frenzy that accompanied it.

It wasn't so much the conceptualization of the sampling activities. Anyone can do that in their sleep. You don't require a lot of brains to plan a sampling activity. Yes, marketers are heathens who maximize even religious holidays and, for their sins, they should be crucified. Point well taken. Now, where are the Logistics people? If I have to be miserable during Holy Week, all of us will be.

It's the planning that drives me crazy. How much product goes to which and delivered by who at what time and where? I send out an approved plan. 5 seconds later, I have to change it. Someone has filed for a leave and some idiot has approved it. Plan again. Send out again. Revise again. We're missing 2 delivery trucks because both are under repair. Sigh. Plan for the umpteenth time. Send out for the nth time. Revise. AGAIN?! What is it this time?! "Ma'am, my wife and I have to go to Antipolo. It's our annual panata (pilgrimage) for Holy Week." @#$%&!!!

Thankfully, I survived the planning though I have to admit my name has been added to the roster of more mangkukulams. I am sure that, somewhere in Siquijor, someone lit a black candle in my name on Good Friday. It must be why I had a nightmare. Then again, I failed to go to confession before Holy Week so you never know.

Before Holy Week, I went on a fish-shopping mania. In case you have not noticed, I live in the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country where we avoid eating pork on Good Friday. The price of fish was bound to shoot up on Holy Week itself. Not wanting to be labeled heretic, I did my fish shopping before my wallet died. My wallet still died and, sadly, it did not resurrect on the third day. Only Christ did.

During Holy Week itself, I did my meat shopping when meat prices were relatively low. Unfortunately, there was not much meat being sold because no one was buying so I got stuck with a pig's foot otherwise known as pata. So much for the perfect strategy. And I call myself a marketing consultant?

My neighbor, on Good Friday, suddenly had his karaoke blaring to the shock and horror of the neighborhood.

Together with Angel's nanny, I bet that he could only sing 2 songs before hell breaks loose on his front gate. I lost. Halfway through his soulful rendition of Celine Dion's "I Drove All Night," an old lady banged on his gate and screamed: "Biernes Santo ngayon! Patay ang Diyos!" (It is Good Friday today. Christ is dead!)

And that effectively ended the American Idol audition. How was your Holy Week?

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Grey Russell Worldwide

Yay! We have a website! Errr...sort of. It's still being fixed, tweaked and finalized. But, at least, we've got a website already. Grey Russell is not a drawing. Or, a figment of my imagination.

Because --- LOOK, LOOK! We have a
website!!!

Constantine tells me that: "As for the website, the final version will be the optimal one (with your precious input/feedback)" That was his slightly sungit reply to me when I made lait the site copy. Hehehe.

And what am I now doing in the travel business?


It just seemed to be a natural evolution from my work. You see, I always end up fixing clients' travel needs. Whether it's for work or pleasure, they invariably run to me to fix the whole trip. From airline tickets to accommodations to their itinerary, I am their Go-To Girl.

They have their own travel agents and some even use mine. Still, they insist I take care of their travel requirements. I do not know why when their travel agents can do the same tasks anyway. Then again, why am I wondering? I have clients asking me which couch they should purchase, what brand of coffee to drink and, occasionally, which bank to open an account with.

Sometimes, I get confused on what my real job is: marketing consultant or nanny? (To clients reading this post - ADMIT IT! YOU DO THIS TO ME! *lol*)

So when George proposed we put up the Philippine office of Grey Russell, I immediately agreed. I already do this anyway so I might as well make money from the task, right?

And voila! Grey Russell Worldwide (Philippines) officially opened last January 2008.

Our office is located at: 28th floor, Tower 2, Enterprise Tower, 6766 Ayala Avenue corner Paseo de Roxas, Makati City, Philippines 1226.

You may reach Grey Russell at: +632.849.3405 (office phone) or +632.886.5008 (fax).

Grey Russell caters to travel-related services all over the world. Our basic list of services include: Air tickets, hotel bookings, car & jet rentals, yacht charters & yacht sales, incentives, congresses, corporate travel, honeymoons, luxury vacations and tickets to special events like the Olympics and Formula One.

No, we do not do budget travel. Please do not come to me if you want to row Tom Sawyer's raft all the way to Europe. I am begging you not to, for the sake of mankind.

However, if you have a budget (which I sincerely hope was not obtained by selling your body parts) and you want to have a memorable trip (one that is extremely pleasant and comfortable) - then, Grey Russell is for you.

Grey Russell quotes in Euros. Current Forex rates will apply.

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Ouch!

For doubting Thomases, behold the power of the internet (and blogging).

No, I am not linking to that now notorious blog. Yes, I read it but, after a while, it's all redundant. So, now, I no longer read it. My appetite for chismis has been sated. Until the next scandal to rock the internet world, that is.

From a branding perspective, the blog is a PR nightmare.

Personal Brand Lesson #1: We, as individuals, are brands. The personalities being crucified in that infamous blog are well known brands that grace the pages of Manila's high society magazines. Some are endorsers of very strong corporate brands as well.

I have visions of these corporate brands' marketing managers trying very hard not strangle the involved personalities.

Those corporate brands are the brands that they are today because of the hard work of the people behind it. And here comes the idiot endorser who destroys all that hard work by being stupid enough to get caught on the blogging world with his pants down.

I wouldn't exercise restraint. I'd slap them until they're unconscious. I don't get enough sleep from maneuvering around my marketing budget as it is and, now, I have to put up with this sh*t as well?! Slap, slap, slap.

If the Comments sections on that blog are true, the
Philippine Star is already looking at a major pull-out of advertisers because the people involved are the Star's columnists. Ouch.

The Philippine Star is taking the most hits from this scandal. Of course, the Star will survive but I am not quite sure if the concerned columnists will. I doubt if they will be fired but, yes, they'd probably be asked to go on vacation for a while. It is the wisest thing for the Star to do unless the newspaper actually enjoys the notoriety that now accompanies these columnists?

Someday, when everything is forgiven, forgotten and, hopefully, paid in full including interest - the said columnists can return quietly. For now, they should just disappear from the Star's pages as gracefully as they can. Their involvement in this scandal is not only marring the Star's reputation as a responsible publication but it taints even the reputations of their other columnists who have nothing to do with the scandal or the people involved in it.

The Malu Fernandez route is becoming a very familiar path among Philippine publications. Very soon, it will be part of a journalist's dream tour around Manila.

Enderun will survive this but not without a few gray hairs sprouting from the school’s management team. It's huge enough to withstand the assault but it would definitely help their credibility and integrity to fire the person concerned.

No matter from which angle you look at it, Enderun is a school that shapes minds. These minds cannot be molded by one who is involved in a scandal that questions his morality and ethics. A school - precisely because it is a school - must have professors whose integrity should be beyond question. To question a teacher's integrity is to question the school's integrity as well. What school in its right mind would want to engage in this kind of battle? Whether those allegations are true or not is no longer relevant. A cloud of doubt hovers above the teacher's reputation. That same cloud now hovers above Enderun’s reputation.

Will Enderun risk their new brand by standing by their professor? Maybe. They will most likely say that the teacher's personal life has no bearing on Enderun itself. True but, thanks to Google, blog visitors are now aware that this person is on the Enderun staff.

Again, if the Comments section is to be believed, students will no longer be enrolled by their parents at Enderun. After all, do I really want Angel to be taught how to slice an onion by an alleged cocaine addict and embezzler? Innocent until proven guilty, yes. But I am a mother. Therefore, it is guilty until proven innocent. Such is the DNA of a paranoid parent. And we number by the millions.

Plains and Prints (is that the correct name?) may take a while to recover from the impact. Not only because that's their endorser being hammered down but because their previous endorser was also embroiled in one scandal after another. Poor Plains and Prints. They have the unfortunate knack of attracting the scandal magnets. Tsk tsk tsk. Pretty soon, people will start associating the brand with scandals, not their endorsers. Maybe they should hire Mr. Snaffalafagus instead? How, in God's name, do you spell this elephant's name?!

Club Embassy will weather this without a bleep. For now. People will be flocking there in hopes of seeing one of the involved personalities. Or, perhaps - GASP! - actually catch them snorting coke.

Eventually, Embassy will lose its appeal. Not because of the scandal but, because it's already peaking. And the scandal (only one among the many scandals that Embassy seems to delight in) is hastening the brand towards its peak. Besides, such is the life cycle of a club. It doesn't last very long. Hello, Faces and Giraffe.

This will not have any impact on McDonald's or Pepsi. Too big, too global for the likes of these people even if they are part of Manila's 400. After all, Pepsi had Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. And it remains Pepsi to this day.

Will the personalities themselves survive this? Of course, they will. As brands, they will experience drought and famine for 7 years. Hopefully, they have prepared for this by stocking up on grain during the past 7 years. Otherwise, we need a Technicolor dream coat and that's just blasphemous at this time, donchatink?

Lesson learned:

Do not underestimate the power of blogging. Most of all, do not overestimate your market value. That’s how cows die of foot-in-mouth disease. Or, should I say, foot-in-digicam? Western Union receipt-in-scanner?

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Saturday, March 08, 2008
Tongue Twister

I have worked in pharma for several years now. But, there is one burning question I never had the courage to ask. Well, that and because I often forget to ask.

Why are brand and generic names of medicines so difficult to spell and pronounce?

Pharma companies have marketers. Duh. Am I not one? So why is there a fixation to use brand names with more consonants than vowels? Is it because they sound more medical if your tongue gets all twisted up? Whatever happened to Brand Naming Rule #1: Do not use a difficult name for your product or service?

Angel has typhoid. At least, the doctors suspect it's typhoid.

The antibiotic they prescribed for her is called Cefixime. Try saying that twice. Good luck. It's generic name is Tergecef. How utterly memorable. No wonder it is called a generic. Cefixime, on the other hand, will never be forgettable. How, when it has an x? I firmly believe that medicines with an x on their brand names mean one thing: the end of your bank account as you know it.

I tried googling for Cefixime and Tergecef but I kept getting weird hits. I only realized I had spelled it wrong because Google gave a spelling suggestion. Yes, I am a marketing consultant who cannot spell. Or, it could be a case of near-sightedness. My eye doctor says I need a new prescription for my eye glasses. Good God. Old age is catching up. And fast!

I really don't get it. Why can't we, pharma marketers, just name medicines in a way that doesn't require one's tongue to be in therapy? Or, names that do not challenge your spelling skills.

You know, this wouldn't be so bad if I had won a spelling bee but I didn't. I won an extemporaneous speech contest when I was a kid but I think that was more because of my pigtails than my oratorical talent. You cannot let someone with pigtails lose especially when the pigtails were bound by Hello Kitty. That is the whole purpose of the existence of pigtails in this universe.

I'm rambling and I'm not the one with the typhoid fever.

It must be the exhaustion. I can now honestly say that Florence Nightingale, despite her place in history, remains so unappreciated and severely undervalued. I say that with the authority of one who has endured 2 days of being vomited on many, many, many times.

Anyway, I googled for Cefixime. I did not appreciate what I found:

CATEGORIES: Bronchitis; Gonorrhea; Infection, Urinary Tract; Otitis Media; Pharyngitis; Tonsillitis; Pregnancy

GONORRHEA?! How can Angel have gonorrhea, for God's sakes?! Are they quack residents at the ER?! And what is this Otitis Media? I have visions of Medusa and it is not good. "Ma'am, she has acute bacterial infection which may or may not be typhoid. That is the antibiotic for bacterial infection."

Oh.

Well! Do you see my point? See, see - gonorrhea has 2 r's. What do you need 2 r's for when you can just as easily pronounce it with 1 r? I mean, you're already sick, for goodness' sakes. Can't you at least ease someone's pain by not forcing her to read a medical dictionary as well?

Cefixime is a semisynthetic, cephalosporin antibiotic for oral administration. What did I tell you about the consonants?

And check this out:

Suprax Inactive ingredients contained in the 200 mg and 400 mg tablets are: dibasic calcium phosphate, hydroxypropyl methylcellulose 2910, light mineral oil, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, pregelatinized starch, sodium lauryl sulfate and titanium dioxide. The powder for oral suspension is strawberry flavored and contains sodium benzoate, sucrose and xanthan gum.

Did you understand anything? I did not and neither did Microsoft Word because that paragraph got liberally peppered with red underlines. The only thing I managed to digest was strawberry and I figured anything with strawberry must be good. After all, strawberries are not only delicious but have rich amounts of antioxidants as well. So says Catherine Zeta-Jones and her pearly whites.

Really, is there a profound answer to my question? Is this some closely-guarded secret (like the Coke formula) where, if I discovered the answer, someone will have to kill me?

Why can't we just say Anti-typhoid medicine? Wouldn't that make our lives simpler? Admittedly, it doesn't sound medically intimidating but I am sure many tongues around the world will appreciate such a simple gesture of consideration.

Consider Kool Fever. It is a gel patch you put on the forehead of someone who has a high fever. It is designed to cool the fever. Hence, Kool Fever. Okaaaaay, so Kool Fever isn't a medicine but you know what I mean.

I'm beginning to think the logic in these unpronounceable brand names is the same logic that explains doctors' chicken scratches. Doctors are healers. But, before they can heal, they must first give you a brain tumor from reading their handwriting and pronouncing their prescriptions. Otherwise, what else will they heal?

My mother will not appreciate this post.

Well, I'm sooooorry that I don't know the answer. I suspect I should but I don't. If that makes me a bad marketer, fine. I'm a bad marketer.

Marketers, despite their press releases, do not know everything. We just pretend we do.

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Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Is It Really Me?

There was a recent discussion on
Entrepreneurs' Playground at Xing (a group I co-mod) about fake profiles. I remember someone (I'm soooorry but I forgot who - bad, bad and very bad!) mentioning that practically every profile on Xing says CEO, Managing Director or some such exalted position.

Well, of course, most are probably true but ya gotta wonder: where'd all the secretaries go? Is the world now overpopulated with CEOs? No wonder we had Enron.

I am a very lowly marketing consultant on my profiles. I am tempted to write CEO. Sadly, I'm not. I am CEO of myself, though. Does that count?

I do, however, possess the daunting title of Country Manager for Grey Russell Worldwide (Philippines), a business venture I recently opened with Greek businessman, George Karahalios. Oh, don't be so impressed. It just means I run the Philippine office. Nothing else. It also means I'm everyone in the Philippine office so Country Manager literally means that - I manage the Philippine office of Grey Russell Worldwide.

Why do we have fixations on titles? Shouldn't we be more fixated with credentials? Then again, credentials can, at times, be faked. So that leaves us with what? Brains and talent honed through experience and continued learning.

You can always fake a title. You can do the same with credentials. Heck, you can even fake recommendations. All you need to do is make sure you're good friends with top honchos in several corporations and voila! The better, of course, if they owe you big time. I've gotten testimonials from business colleagues where I wrote the testimonial myself and they just signed it. It was a very enriching experience for my ego, I must say.

But, after you've faked everything, the acid test comes when you open your mouth. Because, by opening it, people get a chance to peek inside your brains - after they manage to get past the shock of seeing your esophagus, of course.

People almost always ask me for my credentials, client list, etc. It gets to the point where I firmly believe I should carry a slambook around and save myself the agony of listening to myself drone about my accomplishments. It just sounds fun in the beginning. After a while, I'm bored with myself and I keep looking around fully expecting to see my long-lost twin sister.

I could possibly not be as boring as what my resume seems to indicate.

Forgive me. I've been spending the past 2 weeks sending proposals left and right, I swear I cannot stand to read another line from my resume. Not that I'm not grateful for these opportunities. OF COURSE I AM! Are you crazy? I've got college tuition to prepare for. So, NO! I'm not bitching. I'm merely making an observation.

You can only pretend so much and, eventually, someone will figure out the real deal.

You can fake your way to being a marketing strategist by taking snippets (or even entire pages) of marketing information (Wiki and Marketing Profs are works of art, I swear) but, if you do not possess the intelligence, experience and talent to weave them all into a coherent, effective and creative marketing campaign, you're not worth your self-proclaimed title.

Hmmm...my English professor will strangle me for that long-winded sentence. I really have to learn to use punctuation marks.

The thing with marketing is that it's not an absolute science. It's not like being a medical doctor, architect or engineer where you really need to study certain courses for ages in order to get it.

Some people just wander into marketing by accident and managed to make whole careers out of it. I did. But I didn't take up marketing in college. What I learned in college has no use to my marketing career. Well, apart from Italian 10 and German 10.

But what I did not learn in school, I made up for by learning about it through my work experience, my mentors (hello, Mama Grace and Mama Rosa!) and just generally learning everything I could about marketing in order to sharpen my marketing skills. It was tough and painful because I learned from scratch. But learn I did and, even when I felt like giving up (because who in their right mind enjoys learning how to read a financial statement?!), I forced myself to go on knowing it is crucial that I learn those skills so I could be the marketing strategist I am proclaim myself to be.

Another long-winded sentence. Sigh.

Yet, there are those who just happen to know the textbook definition of branding and believe they possess the credentials to be the authority on that subject. I am not David Aaker and will never be David Aaker so, while I may speak with authority about the subject of branding, I will never be in the same league as he is. People will defer to David Aaker because who the heck am I?

In this business, it's easy to get carried away by a couple of successful marketing campaigns completely forgetting the fact that, while you may have conceptualized the campaign, an entire village implemented it. Therefore, the success of that campaign is not yours alone to enjoy or gain credit for.

I like my career because I always learn new things. Just when I thought I know all there is to know about product management for example, I end up working with a product I have never handled before. So whatever it was I learned about product management evolves to take on a new meaning in the face of the new product.

That's what makes marketing so exciting for me. It is never the same thing.

One concept can have many faces depending on the industry or category it belongs to. It changes even with the target market, distribution channels or communication strategies being used. It is forever evolving because business is dynamic.

I think of it in Harry Potter terms. You know, like shape shifters.

Is it easy, then, to fake marketing credentials? Piece o' cake. Is it easy to fake being a marketing strategist? No. Either you are or you aren't. Your lack of marketing brains, talent and experience will eventually give you up.

After a couple of beers, someone will figure out the truth. Often, that someone is your client.

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An Idiot's Way Of Handling Customer Complaints

A friend of mine related this very sad tale.

She had gone to dinner with her family in a newly-opened restaurant called Halaan located in Calamba, Laguna. They all wanted to eat
sisig and gave specific instructions that it should not be spicy. The manager reassured them several times it won't be.

Enter the soup first. It was water soup otherwise known as bulalo. That was not a good sign. When she asked why the soup tasted horrible, the manager replied "because it's free."

HUH?! So if it's free, it should taste terrible?! Where did this manager train on customer service? Did this restaurant even train him to begin with?

The sisig came a few minutes later. It was fiery. Her nephew couldn't even eat it. When she asked the manager, he said that the sisig was already mixed that way and the cook didn’t inform him beforehand. So my friend cancelled all their orders. Then, she asked for the bill. The manager was very apologetic.

Jeck then said that she wanted to talk to the restaurant owner to give him feedback. The owner wasn't around but his wife was. So Jeck walked over to the cashier's office because the wife was there. She asked the manager to tell the owner’s wife that she would like to talk to her and relay feedback.

Guess what the wife replied? Here's her money. I'm too busy.

Clearly, the wife is not one of those blessed to be born with a brain. I'm guessing she was just born with an empty skull. Did she actually think that running a restaurant simply meant serving food, charging hideously expensive prices for crap and customers will not blink?

Customers nowadays are demanding. They know what their rights are. They know what their money is worth. If you run a business, you should know this as well. You never ever ignore a customer complaint especially when the complaint involves the quality of your service or product. It is the height of arrogance to assume that you have other customers as well so who cares about one disgruntled, unsatisfied customer?

The fact that this particular customer complaint found its way into this blog should make the restaurant owner think seriously of firing his wife. Better yet, divorce the woman. She is a moron.

The correct thing for the wife to have done is to come out of that office and talked to Jeck. She should've listened to the complaint and made note of the feedback. All Jeck wanted - and I presume this is true for most customers complaining - is that the management listened, understood, sympathized and tried to do something about their complaint. Returning the money was not the point. Regaining customer goodwill was.

Some people should never open or run a business.

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Kotler On Marketing

A friend gave me a new marketing book for my birthday: "FAQs: Marketing." On this book, marketing guru, Philip Kotler, answers some of the often-asked questions regarding marketing. Very interesting book. I have not finished reading it yet, though. Just read the parts that I found interesting.


Of prime interest to me was the section on skills that marketers should develop. Some excerpts from the book. (Oh Lord. I hope this isn't copyright infringement.)

What understandings do marketing managers need in order to be successful?

Kotler says
"marketing managers need the classic skills of market research, new product development, product management, pricing, negotiating, communicating, salesmanship and channel management."

Marketing managers must have "an increasing global orientation" and must know financial analysis. They need
"to acquire a good understanding of information technology, devices and media" so that they can "use the Internet, database marketing and telemarketing." They need a broad understanding of "mathematical and statistical methods such as cluster analysis, conjoint analysis, data mining, sales response analysis, marketing mix modeling and other techniques for interpreting market data and phenomena."

Are you a successful marketing manager? Do you possess all of that?

Congratulations. I don't.

What is this cluster and conjoint analysis thing? I'm thinking conjoined twins but I doubt if that's what Kotler had in mind. This must be one of those topics during my Math 17 class where I fell asleep. See, this is what you get for going to school drunk.


Of all the things that Kotler said on skills that marketers should develop, the one about Math and financial analysis hit me the most.


Uh...I'm not very good with Math. In fact, I'm so bad at it that I need an assistant to compute for percentages. I don't know which keys to hit on the calculator. It's true. I'm not kidding. My former assistant, Jorge, used to compute all of my COGS. If the company waited for me to compute, the executives would have great-grandchildren by the time that glorious event happens.


Kotler says marketing managers must
"know financial analysis in order to estimate the financial impact of proposed marketing strategies. They should understand break even analysis, ROI, EVA and shareholder value."

I will never live down the trauma of trying to compute for break even the first time. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. God knows how many financial comptrollers were tempted to hit me with a bat because I didn't know how to analyze a financial statement when it came to my marketing campaigns.

I remember arguing with a former financial comptroller once on the price I wanted for a new product we were going to launch.


"No, no, no! We cannot have that pricing because it's too expensive for my market. Why are you meddling in my pricing strategy?! I don't meddle in your financial computations so stop sticking your nose into what I'm doing!"
So says the marketing manager who cannot divide 4 by 2.

In his exasperation, he threw his hands up in the air and simply said.
"Then, may I suggest, Suns, that we do not pay your marketing manager's salary along with your perks as a marketing executive since you insist on this pricing strategy of yours."

Really? You mean my salary and benefits are part of my COGS? Ohhhhhh. How the arrogant falls. Ouch.


I am happy to report I have progressed considerably since then. But what, pray tell, is EVA?! I am sure Kotler is not referring to Eve and the Garden of Eden.


Kotler notes that there are deficiencies in the training of marketers.
One such deficiency is the lack of training in financial language and analysis despite blinding MBAs. Isn't it obvious when I don't know what EVA is?

Kotler goes on to say that
"they are at a disadvantage when they are arguing with the CFO for more marketing money or showing more accountability for their expenditures." I know, I know, Mr. Kotler. I am so one of those people who has nothing coherent to say when the CFO tells me I cannot have more money. Or when he questions me where I took all that money to. Shoe shopping, my dear CFO.

Another deficiency, Kotler says, is the limited knowledge of technology.
This marketer who does not understand all things technical (especially those with more consonants than vowels) can so relate. He mentions that "the future lies in technologically supported marketing." EGAD! I have no future!

As for marketing newbies, Kotler has this to tell them:

"They must know a lot about marketing research, consumer behavior, advertising, sales promotion and sales management - the basics of traditional marketing." In addition, young marketing professionals must have a "deep understanding of finance, technology, database marketing, telemarketing, customer relationship marketing and customer profitability analysis."

I have decided to become a bum.

Photo credit: Rediff Books

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Sunny S. Cervantes,
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