Previously posted June 5, 2005

Beer, Women and Song

I hate Kris Aquino's newest TV commercial for San Miguel Beer. The woman has set women's movement back by 10 million years. Positively archaic. That last part where the guy says very casually and in an oh so chauvinistic tone, "Bagong driver ko (my new driver)" and, then, she tosses the Ferrari's keys to him is completely grating.

A. I was not put on this earth to be some man's driver. In fact, I was not born to be some man's anything. Therefore, I find the commercial insulting to my femininity. As other women should.

B. For a woman who's supposed to be successful, modern and upwardly mobile as Kris portrays in the TVC, don't you think you have better things to do with your time than drive your man around all the time even if he is a fantastic lay? And we all know about Kris' sexual prowess having been oriented about it by her in great detail once too often and on live national TV to boot. The woman knows no fear. Or shame, for that matter.

C. You would think that a woman who can own a Ferrari would also be able to afford a driver to transport this helpless man from one place to another. Instead, she takes a few hours away from being a productive citizen to drive this beautiful work of art and its worthless passenger down the middle of a field to a box house located in the middle of nowhere. What is wrong with this picture? Why anyone would want to live in a field is beyond me as well. Unless, of course, you're one of the children of the corn.

I suspect that the entire production team of this TVC is made up of very frustrated women and this commercial is their ultimate fantasy. For what self-respecting woman will agree to this insulting storyboard? I would've trashed it on the first presentation. Then, again, it’s San Miguel Beer – a product patronized with such fanaticism by every chauvinistic Filipino male on this side of the ocean. So, I'm assuming this feeds their chauvinistic fantasies as well.

I don't drink beer. On rare occasions that I must, I choose San Miguel Lite. I never drink the Pale Pilsen variety that the TVC markets. It's very bitter and, with each gulp, I can almost hear my colon ripping apart as my gastric juices go on a rampage. I tried Pale Pilsen in college and I have sworn since then that not even the threat of dehydration can get me to repeat the experience.

I have a lot of female friends who drink that beer. Most, however, prefer Lite. Of course, every macho Filipino man can, should and must drink Pale Pilsen no matter what their digestive tract says. And, by the cases, if you want to emphasize your manhood. I grew up in a family where the men categorize that product as water. Seriously. Many of them have succumbed to liver cancer from that stupidity.

I'm guessing I'm not the TVC's target market. This is probably for those women who don’t know any better. And – HELLO. As Joseph also pointed it out, Kris Aquino does not drink the beer in the TVC. She merely holds the bottle. I'm willing to bet a year's income the fair Kris would rather give up bed- burning sex than drink Pale Pilsen. It’s for the masses, you know.

Lately, I cannot understand San Miguel Beer commercials. What's with that Judy Ann Santos episode? Thankfully, they pulled it out. I'm guessing the marketing manager who approved that has been fired. Worst, he could be loading beer cases in the warehouse along with some of their ad agency people. If he hasn't been, gawd! He should be. All that budget gone to waste. And, now, Kris. She would've been ok as an endorser but the storyboard is just baaad. It's a concept from hell.

I'm trying to read San Miguel Beer's marketing campaign. Offhand, they seem to be targeting women. But, on closer inspection, they could be targeting men in their 30’s and the women are there purely for aspiration. Drink San Miguel and you get this kind of woman. If they are, however, targeting women, they're doing a very bad job. Someone has not been interpreting those research numbers correctly. Or, in dire need of analytical skills.

Geez! If I spend my nights reading marketing campaigns behind 30-seconder TVC's, I really need to get a life. No wonder the TVC doesn't appeal to me. More to the point, this explains why I have no man in my life. Because who would want to spend his time with a woman who spends her time doing this?

I'm concentrating on my Korean hottie from now on. That way, it's just the Korean interpretation of falling in love and their buses that will upset me.

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Marketing Confessions of Sunny whispered 12:35 PM
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